In this silent night, can you come to my dream?
Here it is, I pray to God for it. Because I still cannot believe you left me. Because I still wish, you are here. Because your existence still nailing in mine.
I still clearly remember, you are the one who taught me to live freely. No matter what everyone thought, you just picked me up from the ‘sticking the rules’ line. Your life rule was just one, enjoy life as fully as you can.
Remember, you were the one who held my hand and said, “Let’s eat!” although you knew that was almost late. And me just nodded happily.
You remember, what did you tell me that time?
“Dis, you are really my partner in crime!”
And me just laughed and we did a high five.
Or the moments when we bumped each other in hospital corridor, you remember? I shouted your name loudly and cheered you. And as me and you, we never be a normal person. Have you count, how many times we act like couple?
You remember? When I casually called you, “Honey, I miss you~!” and you danced happily -an Indian dance that you proudly presented- and replied, “I miss you too, darling!”
Or the times when we met at lift, and you asked about my friend. You know, the one who played husband-wife with you when we at psychiatry lab? You asked to me, curiously “Where is my wife?”
I just pretended to be sad, then asked back to you dramatically, “You asked me about your wife? Do you not care to me anymore?” My hand swept my eyes, as if there were tears fell from it.
You just smirked and told me. “Of course I care, darling~~.”
You don’t forget when you saved me from crazy person who tried to molesting me, right? Or when you let me to touch your scar below your left eye? Or when you acted looking me everywhere although you knew I was already in front of you? Oh well, our difference height always too far. Approximately thirty centimeters?
You always made fun of me because of it. Hissh!
Oh My God, you know, we have too much moment, yet I could not mention one by one.
I just wish you would be here, to help me remember. Because I hate time always run with me, and you just standing at same place.
In that Monday morning, when I got a call from Daniel, doctors failed to help you.
I just miss you. Yet I know I already can’t meet you. I can’t call you ‘honey’ again. We can’t do the high five again.
I can’t called a man with name Navindran, again.
It’s just… can’t.
And I hate it.
Once again, I wanna ask to God, In this silent night, can you just come to my dream?
You don’t have to do anything. Just stand up in front of me, and let me hug you, for the last time.
Your partner in crime.
PS : Navindran, will you read it in heaven? Will you?