Dissapointed always come in behind.
I know, everything not always happened like what we want, or what we need. But everything turned on the wrong way. and in the end, I realize that I chose the wrong one to became a leader.
5 month ago, I went to the Region Meeting of my organization, and make sure my friend to became a leader in there. At first, my leader in my university had chosen me, but I didn’t want. I thought, my friend have more capability for doing this job than me. So, I passed this to her and my leader agreed it.
and we fought, made many argumentation, to made her became a new leader for one year. and then, this happened.
and me, became local coordinator, because I think I must repair the local system. Everything change from the smallest, right?
And today, my friend who be her staff in BEM secretariat told me, if she became a Minister of secretariat not because her capability, but her fraud. The previous minister didn’t recommended her, but someone else.
she’d done everything to got this position. and this happened.
My friend realized some weird things, than with curious she found out everything, and she got. The system is messy. and ‘she’ don’t have attitude. No ministers in BEM that respected her, even they complained to my friend.
The climax is when the previous minister said to my friend, “I failed. I failed to prevent her to became Minister. Minister position shouldn’t belong to her. Please make sure that general secretary in the next period is not her.”
“If she become general secretary not because her capability, but because her fraud like she’d done, it means we both fail.”
Okey. So I get first conclusion, she got her position not because her capability, and now it result something bad in BEM, especially in her department.
And because that first conclusion, I got my second conclusion.
Why my organization like stuck and not growing more and more? because she’s too busy with her ambition to become general secretary -anything ways-
Why I don’t know anything about the region? because she’s never cared about this.
Why I don’t know anything about result of national chat meeting? because she’s never shared all about this.
Why we can’t attend in national meeting? Why? Why?
And so much other ‘why’ in my head.
and the answer is.
I was wrong. I was wrong to chose region leader. I was wrong recognized all her attitude.
And I am too late to realized all about this.
Oh God, it’s too shockin.
and I know, no time for disappointed.
What should I do know? Just me that know it. 😉